A very wise young lady once told me: You have to be blind in order to see. You have to be as blind as a bat. At first I went what? I mean is she crazy. But then I sat back and I listened to her talk. We have to be blind to ourselves in order to know God. We have to be blind to our own ambitions to see God’s plan. We have to say "fiat" and let God take control. We have to decrease so that God may increase.
In our lives, we all have ambitions. These ambitions may be to be a priest, a professional athlete, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, or a multi-billionaire. They may be to be married and have a large family. Our ambitions also may be smaller and not all consuming. They may be to get a high grade on a test, score the winning goal, or even as simple as saying I love you to your mom. These ambitions are driving forces in our lives. They help motivate and push us towards a goal. This goal is one that our human nature and pride desire. It is what we devote so much time and energy into obtaining. How much of our time and energy could be directed towards a greater purpose? How much of our time and energy is being misused? A LOT!!!
We focus so much of our waking time and resources into obtaining this ambition that often times we ignore those things and people that mean the most to us. How many times have you seen or heard about parents who aren’t home because they are working until all hours of the night? How many times did your own parents miss things because they had somewhere else to be? How many times were we second fiddle to another’s ambition? Most of us can say at least a few times in our lives if not often. Didn’t it make you upset and angry to be second fiddle to something else? Yes it did.
How do you think God feels when we make HIM second fiddle in our lives? How do you think God feels (when HE is done laughing) when we tell HIM our plans and how we “need” life to be? HE feels unloved and injured. You may even say it’s a giant slap in the face to HIM. Here is a God that has given us everything that we could possibly need. HE even went so far as to give us Jesus, HIS only begotten Son. Yet, do we thank HIM for it constantly? Do we focus all our energies on HIS plan? NO WAY Jose!! We focus on our own desires. We are so wrapped up in our own ideas that we fail to see God.
When we fail to see God, we fail to see so many blessings. All around us there are countless blessings. And we are so blind with our own ambitions and plans that we don’t even see them!!!! How many days do we not even thank God for our life, food, loved ones, Jesus present in the Eucharist, etc? How many times? How many times does something, albeit very small, go our way in life? Do we thank God for these little gifts? Most of the time we don’t. We don’t even realize that HE has blessed us. We don’t realize since our eyes are blind to HIM and HIS gifts for us.
Our eyes are physically very much alive and working. I mean we see color, images, people, etc. But we don’t have our eyes trained. We have our eyes trained to be of this world. As Catholics, we are called to be not of this world. We are called to a life of Heavenly praise and prayer. We are called to a life of sacrifice. We are called to focus on God. We are called to retrain our eyes. When we retrain our eyes, like so many wonderful Saints before us, we see God. We become blind to our own ambitions and desires. We see HIM and HIS plan. We have to be blind in order to see…
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Pride and pain
Many times in our lives we are hurt. Sometimes with this hurt, there comes the feeling that we were used. That we were played if you will. We were used by another for some purpose that we don’t like. What makes us feel this way? What makes us hurt like this? What makes us run? What makes us put up walls?
Many times when we feel that we are played and used, we are speaking out of our pride. We are speaking from a prideful position. We are speaking from a position that focuses on us and places us as the centerpiece. We are saying that our honor and pride was hurt. We don’t like that. As humans, our pride is something that we hold onto greatly. Is that from God though? Does God like us to have lots of pride? Does God want us to focus on us only? Hell NO!!
God wants us to focus on HIM and HIS plan. God does not want us to focus on ourselves. HE needs to be the focus of our lives. When we are hurt and emotionally injured from being played, we are not focusing on God. We are focusing on our feels of loss and our feelings of being used and thus feeling less like a pure human. These feelings are not from God. They are from the evil one. They are from something that wants us to suffer.
Satan wants us to focus on ourselves and our pain. He knows that by doing this, we will not focus on God. If we are focusing on ourselves, he wins. He has us away from God. We are thus called to refocus ourselves. To refocus ourselves onto God. Do we normally do this? Nope! Normally we tend to focus and fester our thoughts. We focus on the bad and not the good. We let Satan win…
Many times when we feel like we have been played or used, it is because we are not able to see the bigger picture. We are still focusing only on ourselves. Sometimes the reason we hurt is because we are not able to see where God needs and wants us to be. God may have us in someone’s life and then that person gone from our lives. We hurt and feel pain because of this. We want something and that is what we focus on. We do not focus on God wanting us to do something. We do not focus on the good. God may have someone in our lives to only teach us something or for us to teach them something. After that, they are gone. We feel hurt and used by this often. But is that not part of God’s plan??
When we hurt, often times we try to hide this pain. We try to fill the void in our lives. We try to cover up the pain with something else. Many times this filling of our void, is not good for us. It is a short-term fix. It does not answer the deeper problem. It does not answer why we hurt. We hurt because of our longings and them not being fulfilled. When we are hurting, we need to focus our attentions towards Heaven. We do not need to focus our attentions inward. God will bring us through all the pain that we have, if we allow HIM!
Sometimes we decide that the best way to deal with our pain is to hide it. We hide our pain and feelings of longing, being used, etc. behind walls. We build up walls around our emotions because we are unable to bear our pain. We hold onto our emotions and hurt. We refuse to let go and let God. This is the worst thing for us to get over our pain. It helps in the short run, but is horrible for the long run. We run from our pains and thus never face them. When they suddenly appear down the road in life, we freak again. God wants us to take the suffering, offer it up, and move through our emotions.
Our pain is caused by not listening to God and heeding HIS plan. It is caused by saying I’m more important than you to God. This is not a good way to live our lives…
Many times when we feel that we are played and used, we are speaking out of our pride. We are speaking from a prideful position. We are speaking from a position that focuses on us and places us as the centerpiece. We are saying that our honor and pride was hurt. We don’t like that. As humans, our pride is something that we hold onto greatly. Is that from God though? Does God like us to have lots of pride? Does God want us to focus on us only? Hell NO!!
God wants us to focus on HIM and HIS plan. God does not want us to focus on ourselves. HE needs to be the focus of our lives. When we are hurt and emotionally injured from being played, we are not focusing on God. We are focusing on our feels of loss and our feelings of being used and thus feeling less like a pure human. These feelings are not from God. They are from the evil one. They are from something that wants us to suffer.
Satan wants us to focus on ourselves and our pain. He knows that by doing this, we will not focus on God. If we are focusing on ourselves, he wins. He has us away from God. We are thus called to refocus ourselves. To refocus ourselves onto God. Do we normally do this? Nope! Normally we tend to focus and fester our thoughts. We focus on the bad and not the good. We let Satan win…
Many times when we feel like we have been played or used, it is because we are not able to see the bigger picture. We are still focusing only on ourselves. Sometimes the reason we hurt is because we are not able to see where God needs and wants us to be. God may have us in someone’s life and then that person gone from our lives. We hurt and feel pain because of this. We want something and that is what we focus on. We do not focus on God wanting us to do something. We do not focus on the good. God may have someone in our lives to only teach us something or for us to teach them something. After that, they are gone. We feel hurt and used by this often. But is that not part of God’s plan??
When we hurt, often times we try to hide this pain. We try to fill the void in our lives. We try to cover up the pain with something else. Many times this filling of our void, is not good for us. It is a short-term fix. It does not answer the deeper problem. It does not answer why we hurt. We hurt because of our longings and them not being fulfilled. When we are hurting, we need to focus our attentions towards Heaven. We do not need to focus our attentions inward. God will bring us through all the pain that we have, if we allow HIM!
Sometimes we decide that the best way to deal with our pain is to hide it. We hide our pain and feelings of longing, being used, etc. behind walls. We build up walls around our emotions because we are unable to bear our pain. We hold onto our emotions and hurt. We refuse to let go and let God. This is the worst thing for us to get over our pain. It helps in the short run, but is horrible for the long run. We run from our pains and thus never face them. When they suddenly appear down the road in life, we freak again. God wants us to take the suffering, offer it up, and move through our emotions.
Our pain is caused by not listening to God and heeding HIS plan. It is caused by saying I’m more important than you to God. This is not a good way to live our lives…
Trust in God
Often times in our lives we are left with horrible pain. Many times this pain comes from our hearts. We hurt. We ache. We long for something. We long for what we desire. We long for what comforts us. We long for security. We long for safety. This is a totally human experience. This is many times a trial. This is a test from God often.
When we have our hearts torn, when we have our hearts ripped out, that is when we need God the most, however, we normally don't turn to HIM. If you have ever been dumped by someone you love, you know exactly what I am talking about. All you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. All you want to do is try and get that person back. All you do is focus on you. All your energy is spent going what if... All your time is spent in mourning. These are grand gestures in their own rite. However, they lack God.
When we are mourning the loss of one we love, it is often times because we lack that comfort. We lack that security of having that person there. We miss that person in our lives. We are not knowing what to do. We are confused. When someone is very important in our lives and they are suddenly not in that position of importance (from a breakup or move) or no longer there (death), it leaves a huge hole. This hole in our lives can be filled in numerous ways. We can fill it with drugs and alcohol. We can fill it with sex. We can fill it with companions. We can fill it with tears. We can fill it with prayer. We can allow this void in our lives to destroy us or we can allow it strengthen and renew us. The choice is up to us.
Padre Pio tells us that we are purified by our sufferings. By offering up our sufferings, we are purifying ourselves and others. When I am aching and hurting, I tell God take it. I tell HIM to transform my suffering into something glorious for HIM. I offer it up for all the times that I have sinned and will sin again. I offer it up for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. I offer it up for others in this world whom I know are suffering. I offer it up for the one that I miss. I offer it up for Jesus suffering on the Cross. I mean if Jesus suffered and died through a horrible crucifixion, can't I at least offer up my heartache to HIM? I was on HIS mind during all HIS suffering. Why shouldn't HE be on mine during my own crucifixion of my heart?
When we are suffering it is always wonderful to remember our Blessed Mother. Mary was Jesus' mother and now is our Heavenly Mother. Does not a mother always want what is best for her children? Does not a mother always want her children to be happy? Mary wants all of this for us and sooooo much more. Countless Saints have encouraged us to offer up our sufferings to God. However, during this time many Saints have also told us to offer our intentions to Mary for her intercession. Mary is the Coredemptrix of all Graces. As Queen of Heaven, Mary has a very intimate connection with her Son, Jesus. Where do all graces come from? God. Who is Jesus? God. Now if Mary can receive countless graces for us just by whispering in Jesus' ear, why don't we implore her more often in our times. The Memorare tells us that anyone who flees to Mary will not be left unaided.
Sometimes these sufferings feel like they are too great. They make us feel like we cannot continue. They make us want to curl up in a ball and just cry. This is the perfect time for us. This is the time when we will truly offer ourselves to God. The purest prayer that I have ever experienced has involved me with a broken heart. It involved me totally emptying myself emotionally (since I was such a wreck) and saying, “God I can't do this. I need you.” I was in adoration when it happened. I was kneeling in adoration for about 30 minutes just bawling my eyes out asking God why. Did He tell me why my heart was busted? NO! Did he comfort me? YES HE DID!!!!!!!!!
When we have our hearts torn, when we have our hearts ripped out, that is when we need God the most, however, we normally don't turn to HIM. If you have ever been dumped by someone you love, you know exactly what I am talking about. All you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. All you want to do is try and get that person back. All you do is focus on you. All your energy is spent going what if... All your time is spent in mourning. These are grand gestures in their own rite. However, they lack God.
When we are mourning the loss of one we love, it is often times because we lack that comfort. We lack that security of having that person there. We miss that person in our lives. We are not knowing what to do. We are confused. When someone is very important in our lives and they are suddenly not in that position of importance (from a breakup or move) or no longer there (death), it leaves a huge hole. This hole in our lives can be filled in numerous ways. We can fill it with drugs and alcohol. We can fill it with sex. We can fill it with companions. We can fill it with tears. We can fill it with prayer. We can allow this void in our lives to destroy us or we can allow it strengthen and renew us. The choice is up to us.
Padre Pio tells us that we are purified by our sufferings. By offering up our sufferings, we are purifying ourselves and others. When I am aching and hurting, I tell God take it. I tell HIM to transform my suffering into something glorious for HIM. I offer it up for all the times that I have sinned and will sin again. I offer it up for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. I offer it up for others in this world whom I know are suffering. I offer it up for the one that I miss. I offer it up for Jesus suffering on the Cross. I mean if Jesus suffered and died through a horrible crucifixion, can't I at least offer up my heartache to HIM? I was on HIS mind during all HIS suffering. Why shouldn't HE be on mine during my own crucifixion of my heart?
When we are suffering it is always wonderful to remember our Blessed Mother. Mary was Jesus' mother and now is our Heavenly Mother. Does not a mother always want what is best for her children? Does not a mother always want her children to be happy? Mary wants all of this for us and sooooo much more. Countless Saints have encouraged us to offer up our sufferings to God. However, during this time many Saints have also told us to offer our intentions to Mary for her intercession. Mary is the Coredemptrix of all Graces. As Queen of Heaven, Mary has a very intimate connection with her Son, Jesus. Where do all graces come from? God. Who is Jesus? God. Now if Mary can receive countless graces for us just by whispering in Jesus' ear, why don't we implore her more often in our times. The Memorare tells us that anyone who flees to Mary will not be left unaided.
Sometimes these sufferings feel like they are too great. They make us feel like we cannot continue. They make us want to curl up in a ball and just cry. This is the perfect time for us. This is the time when we will truly offer ourselves to God. The purest prayer that I have ever experienced has involved me with a broken heart. It involved me totally emptying myself emotionally (since I was such a wreck) and saying, “God I can't do this. I need you.” I was in adoration when it happened. I was kneeling in adoration for about 30 minutes just bawling my eyes out asking God why. Did He tell me why my heart was busted? NO! Did he comfort me? YES HE DID!!!!!!!!!
fear and longings
Why do we fear? Why do we feel worry? Why do we feel anxiety? We feel these emotions because of our longings and our pride. None of these emotions are from God though. God encourages us with a clean heart, a calm demeanor, and love. Fear, worry, and anxiety are not these emotions from God. They are contrary to our very beings as Christians. They are from the Devil.
When we fear, we are telling God that we don't trust HIM. We are saying that we think it should be a certain way and we are not letting go. We are not letting go and letting God. We are holding onto our desires and longings. We hold onto them many times because of comfort. We hold to our longings because we know them and letting go is scary. Its hard to let go and venture into the unknown without something to hold onto. But don't we have something to hold onto? We do and normally are too blind to see it. We have God there to hold us and hold our hands, but normally our eyes are looking onto our longings and not onto HIM. When we focus on HIM and see HIM, suddenly our feet find a sure path along the road through life.
When we worry, we are still holding onto our longings. We are holding onto what we want something to be. We are holding onto our comfort. We are holding onto ourselves. Our worry is about the unknown many times. But who better to take us into the unknown than God? Who better to lead us by the hand and show us a safe and sure path in our lives? There is none better than God. HE is the one who wrote a plan for all eternity. HE is the one that places desires on our hearts. HE is the one that calls us each by name. We are not letting go and letting God when we worry.
Anxiety causes our stomachs to cut flips more so than worry or fear, because anxiety is caused by worry and fear. Imagine a landslide on top of Mount Everest. This is what we face when we have anxiety. We have frigid temperatures, no air to breath, and obstacles in our way. Our spiritual well being faces this when we have anxiety. We aren't breathing God's goodness because we are focuses too much on us. We are frozen internally because we shut ourselves off from God. We have obstacles in our way since we do not take God's hand and stumble around in the darkness.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Is not our Father a loving and caring God? Is He not a God who wants us to find our path to HIM? HE is all of this and soooo much more. But in order for HIM to take control, we have to decrease and squash our fears. We have to hand it over to God and say “fiat.” That is what Mary did so many years ago, and aren't we all joyed that she did. She squashed her fear, worry, and anxiety to trust in God's plan. As a result of her trust, Jesus was born. God knows well the plans for us, plans to benefit us and not harm us. He tells us so in all the blessings and graces we receive. In the Bible (ie Jeremiah 29:11). But in order to realize these blessings we have to shrink and let HIM lead us.
When we fear, we are telling God that we don't trust HIM. We are saying that we think it should be a certain way and we are not letting go. We are not letting go and letting God. We are holding onto our desires and longings. We hold onto them many times because of comfort. We hold to our longings because we know them and letting go is scary. Its hard to let go and venture into the unknown without something to hold onto. But don't we have something to hold onto? We do and normally are too blind to see it. We have God there to hold us and hold our hands, but normally our eyes are looking onto our longings and not onto HIM. When we focus on HIM and see HIM, suddenly our feet find a sure path along the road through life.
When we worry, we are still holding onto our longings. We are holding onto what we want something to be. We are holding onto our comfort. We are holding onto ourselves. Our worry is about the unknown many times. But who better to take us into the unknown than God? Who better to lead us by the hand and show us a safe and sure path in our lives? There is none better than God. HE is the one who wrote a plan for all eternity. HE is the one that places desires on our hearts. HE is the one that calls us each by name. We are not letting go and letting God when we worry.
Anxiety causes our stomachs to cut flips more so than worry or fear, because anxiety is caused by worry and fear. Imagine a landslide on top of Mount Everest. This is what we face when we have anxiety. We have frigid temperatures, no air to breath, and obstacles in our way. Our spiritual well being faces this when we have anxiety. We aren't breathing God's goodness because we are focuses too much on us. We are frozen internally because we shut ourselves off from God. We have obstacles in our way since we do not take God's hand and stumble around in the darkness.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Is not our Father a loving and caring God? Is He not a God who wants us to find our path to HIM? HE is all of this and soooo much more. But in order for HIM to take control, we have to decrease and squash our fears. We have to hand it over to God and say “fiat.” That is what Mary did so many years ago, and aren't we all joyed that she did. She squashed her fear, worry, and anxiety to trust in God's plan. As a result of her trust, Jesus was born. God knows well the plans for us, plans to benefit us and not harm us. He tells us so in all the blessings and graces we receive. In the Bible (ie Jeremiah 29:11). But in order to realize these blessings we have to shrink and let HIM lead us.
Feelings of loneliness
Often in life we feel like we are horribly alone. We feel like there is no one who cares. We feel that there is nothing in this world for us. We feel empty inside. We feel total abandonment. Why do we feel alone? Are we ever truly alone? Are we ever abandoned? NO!!!! God is always there. With God is also, Jesus, Mary, all the angels, and the Saints. So many Heavenly creatures and souls are there praying for us all the days of our life. With all these prayers how can we feel alone?
Our loneliness usually comes from something missing. This something could be a loved one passing away, physically not being there with those you love, or a great many other things and events in our lives. We feel alone, because we are not able to separate ourselves from this world and look at our lives in God’s time. We fail to recognize all the good in our lives. We focus on one thing missing and not the millions of graces we are given everyday.
God blesses us in sooo many ways. I mean just the fact that we wake up each day is a blessing. HE decides to give us life and a soul. These are the greatest gifts we will ever receive. Do we thank HIM for this? Not really. Normally we are saying “hey bud I want…” We do not take time to realize all of his blessings. This is what causes us to be alone. God has a plan for us. We need to answer HIS plan in HIS time, not ours. We want it our way and not HIS way. We seem to think that we have a better idea of what should be going on in our lives.
Often times we feel that God is not there for us. We feel like our Creator has abandoned us. We feel like God has left us to our own demise. We feel like HE has said so long to us all. This is horribly not the case. We have forgotten that our God does not forget us. HE remembers us always. HE remembers us even if a mother forgets her child. Our God is a loving God that wants us to be happy and peaceful. He hates to see us hurt. He hates to see us alone.
Our longings are not met when we are alone. We have a longing to be with someone. To hear them on the phone, see their faces, etc. When we are alone, we focus on this. We focus on what we do not have. We forget all the good things we do have. When we are alone. we focus on what we desire and not on what God desires for us. Many times our longings and God’s match up. When we long to be with someone, often our friendships and desires are those of God. The only difference is when these desires are fulfilled. ..
Our loneliness usually comes from something missing. This something could be a loved one passing away, physically not being there with those you love, or a great many other things and events in our lives. We feel alone, because we are not able to separate ourselves from this world and look at our lives in God’s time. We fail to recognize all the good in our lives. We focus on one thing missing and not the millions of graces we are given everyday.
God blesses us in sooo many ways. I mean just the fact that we wake up each day is a blessing. HE decides to give us life and a soul. These are the greatest gifts we will ever receive. Do we thank HIM for this? Not really. Normally we are saying “hey bud I want…” We do not take time to realize all of his blessings. This is what causes us to be alone. God has a plan for us. We need to answer HIS plan in HIS time, not ours. We want it our way and not HIS way. We seem to think that we have a better idea of what should be going on in our lives.
Often times we feel that God is not there for us. We feel like our Creator has abandoned us. We feel like God has left us to our own demise. We feel like HE has said so long to us all. This is horribly not the case. We have forgotten that our God does not forget us. HE remembers us always. HE remembers us even if a mother forgets her child. Our God is a loving God that wants us to be happy and peaceful. He hates to see us hurt. He hates to see us alone.
Our longings are not met when we are alone. We have a longing to be with someone. To hear them on the phone, see their faces, etc. When we are alone, we focus on this. We focus on what we do not have. We forget all the good things we do have. When we are alone. we focus on what we desire and not on what God desires for us. Many times our longings and God’s match up. When we long to be with someone, often our friendships and desires are those of God. The only difference is when these desires are fulfilled. ..
Longings and God
All of our actions and emotions are tied into our desires, our longings. Why we do what we do is all tied into what we desire, what we long for. Be this longing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because we are hungry and enjoy the taste of pb&j. Be this longing to score the winning touchdown or goal in a game so we look good to all our friends and impress the girl or so that we don't hurt the desires for a win of those on our team. Be this a longing for a girlfriend/boyfriend so that we have intimacy, love, and affection. Be these longings whatever they may be, they run our lives.
But where is God in all this? Is HE present in us scoring the goal? Is HE present in us eating a sandwich? Is HE present in our relationships, with friends and significant others? Of course HE is! HE is present in all that we do and all that we are. We all know this, yet do we all realize it? How many times is it that we take credit for an action that we performed because God gave us that desire, that longing? I know that I've done that numerous times before in my own life and I'm sure that I will do it again. That is part of what is so AMAZING about HIS love. He forgives us for these actions when we don't recognize HIM. God is a God of love and compassion, not anger and pride.
How is it then that we take our longings and bring them to God? Do we just magically say here you go God? Do we bring our offerings to God as timid, frightened creatures? We may do that or we may jus t let HIM guide us. Dying to ourselves and seeing HIS plan is one of the hardest, if not hardest, thing to do in our lives. Our pride doesn't allow us to see HIS plan. It only points us into seeing our longings and desires. It points us towards our own paths, often times paths of destruction and not joy. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “I know well the plans I have for you, plans for your benefit, not your woe.” If God has all these great plans for us, why is it so hard to listen to HIM? Why do we let our desires get in the way of HIS plan? Do all of our longings get in the way of God's plans though? Can we use our longings to further HIS plan and Kingdom? Of course we can! We can do this so easily. Two big ways to foster God's Kingdom and love are seen in our longings. One, which is fairly obvious, is answering those longings that are from God and praise HIM, ie loving our family, praying, etc. The other way is not easy, not at all. In fact its down right difficult and sometimes impossible. It is rejecting our desires and seeing God through our sufferings. I have been reading a book about Padre Pio and his life. One of the comments made by Padre Pio is that God is purifying him through his suffering. This coming from a man who is a Saint and lived an amazing life devoted entirely to the Lord, but that wasn't good enough. God wanted him to suffer and purify his heart so that Padre Pio would only see God and not all of his earthly desires. Its the same thing for any of us when we give up something we really want. It brings a smile to God, especially when we offer that suffering to God. How hard is it not to have that desert when we are at a nice restaurant? Sometimes its very difficult, yet how much happier would God be if we didn't eat that and said God I want you to know I am giving this up for love of you. How hard is it to not see those that you love? It is SUPER difficult and so many of our waking moments are spent wondering, contemplating what they are doing, and longing to be there to see them smile. Just to be there and give them a hug. But sometimes this isn't possible, believe me I know how hard it can be to not see the one who care for copious of copious amounts. But there is God in that. God is calling us, calling me, to offer up that sacrifice for HIM and HIS glory, to offer it up for all the Souls in Purgatory and for our own purification. We may use our angels to help fulfill our longings. Our angels are able to go to others, even when we are unable to.
But where is God in all this? Is HE present in us scoring the goal? Is HE present in us eating a sandwich? Is HE present in our relationships, with friends and significant others? Of course HE is! HE is present in all that we do and all that we are. We all know this, yet do we all realize it? How many times is it that we take credit for an action that we performed because God gave us that desire, that longing? I know that I've done that numerous times before in my own life and I'm sure that I will do it again. That is part of what is so AMAZING about HIS love. He forgives us for these actions when we don't recognize HIM. God is a God of love and compassion, not anger and pride.
How is it then that we take our longings and bring them to God? Do we just magically say here you go God? Do we bring our offerings to God as timid, frightened creatures? We may do that or we may jus t let HIM guide us. Dying to ourselves and seeing HIS plan is one of the hardest, if not hardest, thing to do in our lives. Our pride doesn't allow us to see HIS plan. It only points us into seeing our longings and desires. It points us towards our own paths, often times paths of destruction and not joy. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “I know well the plans I have for you, plans for your benefit, not your woe.” If God has all these great plans for us, why is it so hard to listen to HIM? Why do we let our desires get in the way of HIS plan? Do all of our longings get in the way of God's plans though? Can we use our longings to further HIS plan and Kingdom? Of course we can! We can do this so easily. Two big ways to foster God's Kingdom and love are seen in our longings. One, which is fairly obvious, is answering those longings that are from God and praise HIM, ie loving our family, praying, etc. The other way is not easy, not at all. In fact its down right difficult and sometimes impossible. It is rejecting our desires and seeing God through our sufferings. I have been reading a book about Padre Pio and his life. One of the comments made by Padre Pio is that God is purifying him through his suffering. This coming from a man who is a Saint and lived an amazing life devoted entirely to the Lord, but that wasn't good enough. God wanted him to suffer and purify his heart so that Padre Pio would only see God and not all of his earthly desires. Its the same thing for any of us when we give up something we really want. It brings a smile to God, especially when we offer that suffering to God. How hard is it not to have that desert when we are at a nice restaurant? Sometimes its very difficult, yet how much happier would God be if we didn't eat that and said God I want you to know I am giving this up for love of you. How hard is it to not see those that you love? It is SUPER difficult and so many of our waking moments are spent wondering, contemplating what they are doing, and longing to be there to see them smile. Just to be there and give them a hug. But sometimes this isn't possible, believe me I know how hard it can be to not see the one who care for copious of copious amounts. But there is God in that. God is calling us, calling me, to offer up that sacrifice for HIM and HIS glory, to offer it up for all the Souls in Purgatory and for our own purification. We may use our angels to help fulfill our longings. Our angels are able to go to others, even when we are unable to.
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